Final Wishes Facilitation

You are aging.

We all know it is a part of life.

People say you can’t escape two things in life: death and taxes.

For some reason, we don’t talk about death in our culture – we avoid the conversation like the plague, and it is easier to live in denial.

We’re in our 20s, free as a bird. And then we blink, we’re in our 50s, and beyond.

In our heads, we sometimes don’t know to see the passage of time.

As we get older, the experiences are so rich, so full, so vast, the JC Penney photos have more family members in them now. We used to get down for sitting on the “x” mark on the JC Penney photo sheet, and now a chair is provided for you to sit on instead of sitting on the “x” (someone provided a chair for you to sit, for safety reasons).

In our culture, we value youth…

And, at times, can be dismissive of the older individuals in our community.

We have incredible technology available to all of us, and our life span is getting longer and longer.

Sometimes, we would welcome a conversation about how we would like the last third of our life to look. What is the picture that is in our mind? What would we like to happen if the resources were available?

As a counselor, I have had these conversations with my own family.

I love Dairy Queen. Specifically, I love a “twist” ice cream cone. I let my family know this is one of my wishes when I pass away. My daughter went on Amazon and found an ice cream maker so everyone could have an ice cream cone at my funeral.

Having this conversation was extremely difficult but oh so rewarding. My family knows one of my wishes when I pass away. The research has been done to ensure they can provide ice cream at my funeral. I am very thankful for it. We had a conversation that was “a normal and a tough” conversation. But the reward was huge. After the conversation, the next question out of my kids’ mouths was, “Mom, what’s for dinner?” Tacos were served.

This is what final wishes facilitation is about.

Final wishes facilitation involves having conversations with those you love and choosing to be a part of that process.

It’s about what and how you would like your “soft landing” to look at the end of your life.

What are the logistics? What are your thoughts, expectations, hopes, and dreams about creating “your soft landing?”

At the end of life, individuals drive the boat – autonomy and capacity are involved. Until they cannot drive the boat, when others need to come into the boat to assist, facilitation steps in.

It is this “boarding” process that occurs. Sometimes, in one session, sometimes in several sessions, or sometimes two or three times a year. This all depends on the driver of the boat.

This next step could be the hardest to take.

It is realizing that a difficult and sensitive conversation needs to occur.

Pride is on the line. You don’t want to be too honest, but you see changes physically, mentally, and cognitively.

Mustering courage is the next part. Timing is important. There will be hard parts, there will be easier parts, and there will be parts in between. But what I can say is that you have an opportunity to be with someone on that journey with you if you choose. It is your choice.

You have your autonomy. When you are ready, I’m here.

I offer a free 15-minute consultation to see if I would be a “good fit” for you: (734) 846-7535.

There is no pressure at all during this call. Sometimes, people just want to call and ask me a few questions they have. Questions are always welcome. They may need to think about their decision; it is a big decision, and that is totally fine with me.